Lefty

By: Opa

Hey, it’s me Lefty.  As you may or may not know, Righty was my brother. My life forever changed on that fateful day in the car when Skip threw my brother out the window. Not only was Skip way out of line, but, dam, it wasn’t even a bee. It was a big old house fly.

What happens after that day is a bit of a blur.  Having no brother meant no feet, no feet meant no need, which meant I got stuffed under the seat where I stayed for, I don’t know, 40 years? Well, that may be an exaggeration, but it was awhile.

You really get an idea of your family’s hygiene when you spend time under a car seat. You see fries, popcorn, soda, socks, shirts, mud, poop, not to mention when Skip hurled. Not pretty.  Not pretty at all.

However, there is always hope that there will be a reason for the car to be clean, and yes that day did come. Matilda was graduating, so the car got cleaned and out into the light, I was reborn and free. Matilda had rescued me. Hey, look it’s my brother Righty all artsy made into a coffee shoe table and looking a lot better than me. I didn’t look too good after years down under. So, I was out from down under which was great, but I got thrown into the corner of the garage. That day was the start of a new life and career. One day I was a door stop, the next holding a water bottle and any job that was needed.  It was good life, about all one could expect for one shoe, not great but good.

Then it happened, while the Sharpsteens were having the annual family garage sale, my future walked into the garage. Well, walk maybe a stretch he kind of limped, hobbled not sure how to describe his gate, but he’s  here and he’s looking at me. He being Bobski the one foot clown!! Bobski was a local celebrity and a hell of a double-dutch rope skipper. Well, he spotted me in the corner and bought me, and that’s how I end up in show business.

We did the Gong Show, Maryland State Fair and Sally Strother’s birthday party.  Those were just some of the great times we had together.

In the end Skip’s miss guided shoe throwing episode changed my brother’s and my life for the better. So just remember when life throws you a curveball just go get an Arnold-Plamer and a bag of chips and get back on your bike.

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