How Not to Make an Éclair Cake

By: Anonymous


Every year for Thanksgiving that’s my assignment

Sodas, sodas

More sodas

I know I’m the baby

I know I work full time and go to school and have two kids

I know I was raised on spaghetti and McDonalds

But I know I can cook

When and if I choose to cook

In fact

I can make a mean meal

I can make a Parmesan-crusted chicken that will make your mouth water

I can make an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie that will make you sing

I can make a hash brown casserole that will make you wish you could eat breakfast all day

Every day

This year I’m going to show them

my mad skills

my culinary expertise

my Thanksgiving worth

First decision-

side or app or dessert?


Next decision-

to bake or not to bake

No bake

A flash

A memory

A recipe

on Facebook

Search and scroll

No Bake Éclair Cake


A trip to the store- Target

Two days til Thanksgiving

No vanilla pudding

No chocolate frosting

Fine- chocolate pudding and vanilla frosting

A flipped éclair

An Éclair Upside Down Cake

Creative, Fun, Daring

Or maybe it’s

Risky, Scary, Dangerous

Back to the store- Safeway

A secret quick trip on Thanksgiving Eve

Grab the vanilla pudding

Grab the chocolate frosting

Good to go

Simply mix

and chill

and frost

and chill

Four hours later-

a messy drippy car ride

Just needs more time to chill

Back in the fridge

while I stuff my face with good stuff

And now dessert time-

my time to shine

 “What masterful skill!” “What a delectable delight!” “No more sodas!”

Here it is, here it comes

heavenly, silky, gooey awesomeness

Grab the knife to slice

through the chocolate and sink right into…

watery, milky, powdery nastiness.

Give it a poke and watch it wiggle and wobble

A waterbed cake

A disappointment

A failure

Cook and serve pudding

requires cooking

before serving

Next year?

“Sodas. Just sodas.”

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