By: Danielle Wilson
I spent my teens and twenties at odds with my body
I didn’t want being a woman to hold me back
or slow me down
and the parts of me that seemed
I tried to mold closer to perfection.
Then I got pregnant
and try as I could to exercise
and avoid getting huge
my body slowly took the wheel
doing whatever was necessary to grow that baby
letting me know what it needed:
movement or rest,
vegetables or bread.
Resistance was futile
and I had to give in to myself
as my body changed shape
and adjusted its habits accordingly.
Sometimes, I felt separate from the vessel
the captain of a ship on autopilot.
From pregnancy to birth to breastfeeding,
to its ability to survive on mere hours of sleep,
my body knowingly directed the course.
Always moving forward. Always providing.
This feeling of separateness
has allowed me the perspective to see it all work together:
the parts, the rhythms, the cycles and the seasons
So now I extend some grace and kindness to myself.
No more squeezing or lifting or ripping or medicating.
I am at peace with my curves because they supported my baby.
I appreciate the nuances of the cycle that helped create life.
I acknowledge my moods and stress and try to give myself space
to listen and to feel what is right.
I trust what my body is trying to do,
despite me always getting in its way.