Insomnia

By: Todd

Every so often, I can’t sleep, despite being very tired.  My mind races, and I can’t slow it down.  Last night, I decided to write down the things that had been racing through my mind for 3 hours.

Wow, Ravens in the playoffs.  Thought they were going to blow it… again.  Fun watching it with Zach… kind of… love the bonding, but he never stops talking during the game.  Can Lamar really stay healthy with this style?  History has not been kind to running QBs.  But, we are in. 

Wow, convict leasing was so much more involved than I thought.  It was worse than slavery, for those caught up in it.  The duration of it was mind boggling.  How are humans so stupid and cruel?  Viciously cruel.  This was a hard book, a necessary book.  I always think I know something, but then realize what I know is the tip of the iceberg.  Thousands upon thousands dead.  Millions terrorized.   I am so sad that people can’t connect then to now.  Humans are dim witted.  I am just sad.

I could be president.  Yeah, I would be a great president.  Right?  Yes, right.  My gosh, I couldn’t be worse than our current ass bag.   And, I would just get Obama and Clinton and Bush people in my cabinet, so I wouldn’t be ignorant of protocol.  Then let’s focus all energy on the environment and inequality.  Yes, I will request majorities in the house and Senate.  Yes, that would be helpful. 

Is he the worst president ever?  Andrew Johnson?  Him?  I think a trained orangutan, pushing “choice” buttons, would make more logical decisions.  Can this clown really get re-elected?  There was zero chance he could get elected in the first place, sooooo… yes.  I need to run.  I wonder if Elizabeth or Kamala will be my running mate?  Yes, you are a racist and sexist if you voted for him!!  You just don’t know it.  You can’t possibly understand race and feminism, and vote for him.  So, you are a subconscious racist… that is worse than an overt one.  Explore your bias, then either change, or come out where we can see you.

Chargers…. We just played them.  They may have answers.  So irrational to love a sports team.  Accident of geography.  So dumb.  I don’t like being irrational.  Why do I allow the Ravens to make me irrational?  SOOO interesting.

Why are my neighbors up the road so good looking?  You aren’t supposed to be that good looking rolling into your fifties.  They must look good naked.  I used to look good naked.  Sigh.

Why does Adam keep inviting me to play poker?  He knows I can’t play.  I always lose.   He just wants my money!  I did think the “all in or fold” game sounded intriguing.  A lot less thinking, right?  He must be re-doing his kitchen.

Why was whistling at a white woman a death sentence?  Where does this fear come from?  Why were black women sexual fodder up through the 1930s?  Where was God when all this was happening? 

I need to eat some turkey.  If that doesn’t work, I may need to masturbate.  Double sigh.

One thought on “Insomnia

  1. I came to read to get away from my racing thoughts, which are causing my insomnia. Now I fear it’s an epidemic. Or maybe we’re the only two… and, in that case, do we have some sort of undiagnosed or undiscovered anxiety disorder that starts after dark? If I went on a carb binge, I’d start feeling sleepy… but I don’t think I have any tums on- hand. Thanks for the insights. And for helping me feel “normal”.

    Liked by 1 person

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